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Ida Hands
Ida Hands is a fairy godmother to various princesses around Ever After High, and a teaching assistant for 'girly' class-ics, like Damsel-in-Distressing, and Princessology. As a Fairy, Ida doesn't have a destiny but, rather, numerous obligations to royalty, which they can call on almost at any time. From turning a pumpkin into a volkswagen, to an emergency recharge when your mirrorphone is at 2%, Ida will be there for whoever she owes a duty to. While she's devoted to work, Ida's also incredibly stressed by her job. The moment the clock strikes midnight, she's out of there - and on a Harley, on the open road, and off to the next big adventure on two wheels. As reported in Farrah Goodfairy's Diary, her sister (the previous Blue-Haired Fairy from Pinnochio) has been erased from existence for defying her duties. Personality Idle Hands are the devil's workshop - and Ida Hands knows it. There isn't a moment of the day Ida isn't working - poofing from princess to princess to fulfill their demands, and organising her classes. She's a competent workaholic, and always professional. After sundown, Ida's no longer obligated to help people. She spends her free time on her passion: biking, hextreme sports, rock music, and alcohol-fueled bar brawls at 11pm! But due to the disappearance of her sister, and her teaching job at Ever After High, Ida tries to cut back on her old rebellious lifestyle. She wants to be a good role model for her students, and maintains her composure in any adversity - though it isn't always easy! While she loves children and helping dreams come true... she despises having to wait on obnoxious teen princesses. They keep singing about wanting adventures, and phones, and cars, and fashion. And WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SING ABOUT WANTING THINGS??? ("They already have more money than the GDP of a small country. Sit back down, shut the fuck up, and stop complaining about having to be rescued by a prince!") History Ida was born in a buttercup at the sound of an infant's first laugh. She was adopted by two older fairies, and the rest is history. More specifically, it was the tail-end of the 80's and everyone was trying something new. Ida had a rough childhood moving from city to city with her inventor parents as they struggled to find meaningful employment beyond granting wishes for other people. In the 90's her mother became a household name for patenting the hot wish-granting toy, the "Bibbity Bop-It!" but none of her other toys really took off. Her other mother has recently got internet fame for falling in a parking lot and becoming a meme. They're all really, really proud of that meme. When she was 15, her older sister Maria grew frustrated by her parent's inability to be "more than cash machines for spoilt little rich kids!". When it was her turn, she defied her destiny, pointing out how modern adaptations keep having to lie about just how whiny and selfish Pinnochio really is and refusing to turn him into a real boy. This act of rebellion erased her out of existence. Ida doubts her family has really recovered from losing her, and in many ways Maria's loss has affected her fundamentally too. Fairytale Ida doesn't come from a fairytale, but rather, a fairytale archetype. Fairies need no introduction, but you might be surprised how often they appear in fairytales that aren't Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. From informing the Heroines where her Prince has been drugged and captured to, to providing a magical way to conceive a child, or even valuable gold that can be swapped for favours from evil Princesses, Fairy godmothers are often a deus ex machina that commonly appear in non-structured storytelling. In most fairytales that are told bit by bit, a fairy godmother serves the role of pushing a plot along with magic, so the author frees himself from any plot holes she may have written himself into for the next installment. Ida's very similar to this in that she exists purely to help other people, and can't live for herself. Powers and Abilities Ida is constrained by nothing but the "Fairy Rules", an archaic set of legalities that limit a fairy's magic for sometimes-arbitrary reasons. Relationships Parents Ida's parents are traditional English fairies - an ancient race born from the emotions of children. Her parents are somewhat unorthodox in that they prefer living in a suburban apartment instead of a field of posies, and enjoy desk jobs more than dancing. Ida claims they're the only hippies to rebel by becoming bureaucratic drones. Despite this, Ida's a traditionalist at heart, and strives to be the best fairytale godmother that she can be. Oskar [[Oskar Valkoinen|'Oskar Valkoinen']] - Oskar is Ida's boyfriend, and a werewolf prince who shares her interests in smoking, alcohol and leather jackets. After months of hemming and hawing, he asked her out, but only hit it off when they discovered their shared love for hextreme violence, and the sound of motor engines. Despite Oskar's bad boy persona, he's a proper prince and a devoted teacher, qualities Ida adores. He's also a hot mess. He has parental abandonment issues up to his armpits, and an incurable werewolf curse (due to refusing his spell-breaking princess) and worst of all... he supports the Rebels. Ida and him disagree on many fundamental issues, but what matters most is that he loves his students and he loves his job... and Ida may or may not be in love with the prospect of 'fixing bad boys'. Others [[Phoebe Fitzroy|'Phoebe Fitzroy']] - Phoebe divorced the Polar Bear King, and Ida finds this fairy, fairy intriguing. She's never met someone who willingly gave up being a Princess - doesn't every little girl want to be waited on hand and foot with no responsibilities? Phoebe is a puzzle to her and she's interested to learn more about her. (Not that Phoebe's telling. That woman's so shy it's like she has bear trap for a mouth!) Mandy Dauntless - Mandy is closer in age to Ida, and they're closer as friends. (At the very least, Mandy actually answers her mirrorphone texts unlike Phoebe!) Despite being close friends, Ida is more than willing to insult Mandy's class behind her back - after all, being a hero 'just happens', you don't have to prepare yourself to be glorified. It's different for girls, girls have Damsel class to prepare to be objectified. Not to mention, "Those boys in her class are grade-A idiots!" They spend lots of time together at The Flying Canoe, marking papers together. [[Adham Shadhavar-Behzadi|'Adham Shadhavar-Behzadi']] - He's a horse. Damsel-in-Distressing Syllabus A mandatory class-ic for all female students, Damsel class is most infamous for being the "SEXIST!" part of the syllabus (in part due to Raven Queen's explicit hatred for it), Ida defends her subject matter fervently. It's not sexist, you just have to see it in a different way. To Ida, Damsel in Distressing is more about survival in a crisis. In a world where men think they are entitled to women's bodies in bars, clubs, and at work, Damsel in Distressing teaches women how to react to situations that could get them killed. * How to survive a fall from a great height (i.e. a tower) * How to flameproof your clothes if a dragon catches you * Emergency knight and prince hotlines to call for help * Standing down an armed gunman * The art of being 'in another castle' in case your rescuer is a jerk * Intense survival skills when you're in the woods * Slowing down your breathing and heartrate, and meditation to minimise 100-year-sleep trauma Also there's the fact that one exam literally involves sleeping. You get your A for SLEEPING. Damsel class has a bad reputation, and most female students don't like it - but Ida would simply tell you to look at that 100% guaranteed pass rate, and reconsider. Welcome to Damsel Class. The easiest A you'll ever get. Trivia * Her name comes from the phrase "Idle hands", meaning a person must always be working or they'll be likely to do the wrong thing. Ida's inability to stop working, and her mistrust of the Rebels whom she thinks are lazy, reflects this. ** Coincidentally, the name 'Ida' also means 'work/labour' * Among Ida's mom's other failed inventions are: ** "Snakes and Adders" (the whole game board is snakes. snakes everywhere.) ** "Kinetic Sand" (sand constantly moving in a vague and threatening manner) ** "Magic 8 Ball" (a snooker ball that flies and assaults people when you say the magic word) ** "Webkins" (users on tumblr that claim they're really a wolf in spirit.) ** "Cabbage Patch Kids" (sentient baby vegetables) * Since her fairy godkids are spread across the globe, Ida's magic helps translate her speech across different languages. She's an omniglot, but without her magic, she can only speak Italian and broken English. (She once tried to learn Klingon once. She's actually good at it.) * Ida claims to know one of the Cottingley fairies. Her name is Thomas and she's a "real grade-A prick who owes me ten euros." * Ida's subset of fairies (including Farrah) are an all-female race. You can recognise them by their dependency on wands for magic, and the fact that they cannot lie without a great deal of difficulty. Category:Fairies Category:Females Category:Pinocchio Category:Wanlingnic OC Category:Characters Category:Faculty Category:Royals